12 hours of what? 12 hours of driving roughly in the past 3 days, and really maybe 13. Holy moly.
And yet I feel okay. My body feels a bit out of whack, but nothing too bad. I guess I'm not all that old.
Honestly, each day had it's own highlight:
Friday - Concert
Saturday - Baltimore to see old Ichthus kids, chilling with friends
Sunday - Friends and then wedding.
One Republic is pretty sick live, and with the Script as an opener, can't complain. But have to say One Republic just got another new fan. Thanks to my sources for dem tickets and for good company.
Honestly, seeing Ichthus peeps brought back a flood of memories. And I wanted to cry because I could only see them for like 45 minutes... sigh. But seriously, surreal, and even now I can't really believe I saw them. Why did I want to cry? Nostalgia, joy, and sadness cause it was so short. I may never see these guys again until Heaven provided we both end up there. Ahhhh. Life changing experience revisited, and people re-seen. And of the guys was about to cry as we said goodbye. Gg heart. Gg.
What was the downside of this weekend? Besides the crazy driving... some random reminders popped up. Reminders of the simple fact that I've wreaked some good old destruction in some of my friendships or lack there of. Which makes me wonder, if things are awkward here what will it be like in Heaven? Will we all just apologize again and rejoice in God? Will we just not care as in we forget or let go immediately? Curious.
But regardless lots o fun this weekend. And being able to witness an older brother's wedding (albeit I showed up mad late and missed the ceremony, thanks NOVA traffic) was amazingly heartwarmingly beautiful. Yes I just said amazingly heartwarminly, deal with it. So cute. So cute. Can't wait to crash at their place and see how they interact with each other hahaha :) Call me annoying if you want, but I love this guy, and being to get to know his wife better and observe both of them develop would be an honor and blessing. Plus I'm gonna be the best uncle ever to their kids. For real.
New discovery: Driving at night on backgrounds with the windows open and music playing in the background to just audible but not too loud is incredibly cathartic. The black emptiness, the rush of sound from wind, with a touch of melody, creates an experience that is... lovely. Note to self, do this more often. Not conducive to conversation, but conducive to interacting with the self.
Another interesting note: as effed up as I am, I'm much better at dealing with it than I used to be. Praise be to God :)
Another another interesting note: I insa-ed to this person with the Mexico kids to a chaperone by default. I just assumed older and wanted to show respect. She laughed awkwardly and said I don't have to. Pops up my facebook... I'm older. Haha. Whoops!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Helpless
Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.2
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
3
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.4
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.5
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Dang peace from God. But then
http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/25/
What is this? Why... that's all I can really say. Right now I'm concerned with the World Cup, exercising, friends, family, looking for a new job (not in any particular order), but what worth does any of that have in the light of this? (They all have plenty of worth mind you... well maybe not the World Cup). But if I was there wouldn't I feel helpless as I saw it happening around me? If I was in a position of power wouldn't I still feel helpless as I am bound to so many rules and regulations that prevent swift action, or perhaps public opinion is of great importance? Regardless, there are reasons to feel helpless.
And all the while... things like this, things worse than this that I will never hear about, will continue on. What is this? Life is not a box of chocolates. It's a box of bombs where some of us get lucky and they don't go off.
People wonder why I'm cynical? Cause of stuff like this... and because I'm no better.
Truly... my only hope is in the Lord.
3
Dang peace from God. But then
http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/25/
What is this? Why... that's all I can really say. Right now I'm concerned with the World Cup, exercising, friends, family, looking for a new job (not in any particular order), but what worth does any of that have in the light of this? (They all have plenty of worth mind you... well maybe not the World Cup). But if I was there wouldn't I feel helpless as I saw it happening around me? If I was in a position of power wouldn't I still feel helpless as I am bound to so many rules and regulations that prevent swift action, or perhaps public opinion is of great importance? Regardless, there are reasons to feel helpless.
And all the while... things like this, things worse than this that I will never hear about, will continue on. What is this? Life is not a box of chocolates. It's a box of bombs where some of us get lucky and they don't go off.
People wonder why I'm cynical? Cause of stuff like this... and because I'm no better.
Truly... my only hope is in the Lord.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Sinking into Complacency
Lately, I've been feeling somewhat off. Not sure why, but I have been.
11 “Take care lest you forget the LORD your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, 12 lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, 13 and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, 15 who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, 16 who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. 17 Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ 18 You shall remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. 19 And if you forget the LORD your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. 20 Like the nations that the LORD makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the LORD your God.
But reading things like this helps to humble me. I've got so much free time at work, that I've been abhorring, but it gives me time to just reflect and learn. Sometimes I don't use it effectively, but back to trying and reading and learning.
And I started looking for jobs again... it's so... daunting. I can feel the stress building up inside me already, and I just started searching and editing my resume haha. What is thisss? Go away stress. Go away troubled heart. One of my co-workers has been at the company for like 6 years, why? Is she in love with the company? Nah not really. But she was like I'm content, and too lazy to go looking. Can't say I blame her. lol.
But reading things like this helps to humble me. I've got so much free time at work, that I've been abhorring, but it gives me time to just reflect and learn. Sometimes I don't use it effectively, but back to trying and reading and learning.
And I started looking for jobs again... it's so... daunting. I can feel the stress building up inside me already, and I just started searching and editing my resume haha. What is thisss? Go away stress. Go away troubled heart. One of my co-workers has been at the company for like 6 years, why? Is she in love with the company? Nah not really. But she was like I'm content, and too lazy to go looking. Can't say I blame her. lol.
Halcyon days... return. I love that phrase? Idiom? Expression? The sad thing is I think I learned about it from an anime. Maybe not sad, see they can be somewhat beneficial!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Small Group
I've realized small group is crucial while I was overseas. (Completely didn't touch on spiritualnessnessness in my previous post)
You need community. Period end of story. If you are a Christian, not nominal, and you don't take seeking community seriously, then you are a fool. I might feel bad saying it to your face, but I will say it. If you aren't actively seeking community, or at least trying to be involved in community... you are on a train wreck towards disaster. And not a fake community where you act happy or a certain way. A community where you can be you. In your downs struggling with sin or whatever comes your way, and in your ups when all you can do is help but praise the Lord in pure joy. Maybe not in all the details, cause trust takes time, but at least share some.
Please... if you haven't found one or committed to one, please do so. You won't find perfection of any sort. Don't expect it. Recognize the fact that you will have to reach out. You will have to try. You will be hurt as some people don't seem to reciprocate or they do something that offends you. But continue... of course for Christ ultimately, but for your own soul as well.
Being bereft of community took it's toll on me while I was abroad. I need something to root me because... by myself I drift all too easily away from God. He's still on my mind, but not as powerfully. He becomes less a reason for my actions, and more just an abstract thing... why is it so easy? Cause I am weak. I am not strong. I am not a pillar. I am weak, but it's okay. I'd rather recognize that and find brothers and sisters than try to live alone anyways.
That being said, my small group leader is more or less how I would like to be at some point. Smart, astute memory. Well versed in the Bible and the world. He was quoting Shakespeare at me haha during a lunch conversation, and then I realized we even had the same views about the end haha. If worst comes to worst when we get old, we'll go to some hostile nation, carry Bibles and preach God's word till, well you know we get killed. Funny because our wave thoughts are similar in many ways, but I'm more emotional than him. He's got an interesting life story I feel like tho. One day, I'll uncover it and just spend times reflecting on it. Why? Cause there are things to learn from every persons life.
Haha. But speaking of my leader, he also had the same issue I had with the news. And he said he only reads local news because there he can make a difference. To be honest... I feel like there's something underlying that decision, which is incorrect. But who am I to call him out right?
Feeling helpless is not necessarily a bad thing. It forces you to turn to God. An argument could be made here about God just being convenient or not having a true faith or whatever, but I do believe it's true. We love feeling in control, and we'll do almost anything to preserve it.
Today I found a nice analogy to describe myself. I currently feel like a puppy haha. Why? Well... too bad don't feel like sharing. But I feel like a puppy.
Happy Monday!
You need community. Period end of story. If you are a Christian, not nominal, and you don't take seeking community seriously, then you are a fool. I might feel bad saying it to your face, but I will say it. If you aren't actively seeking community, or at least trying to be involved in community... you are on a train wreck towards disaster. And not a fake community where you act happy or a certain way. A community where you can be you. In your downs struggling with sin or whatever comes your way, and in your ups when all you can do is help but praise the Lord in pure joy. Maybe not in all the details, cause trust takes time, but at least share some.
Please... if you haven't found one or committed to one, please do so. You won't find perfection of any sort. Don't expect it. Recognize the fact that you will have to reach out. You will have to try. You will be hurt as some people don't seem to reciprocate or they do something that offends you. But continue... of course for Christ ultimately, but for your own soul as well.
Being bereft of community took it's toll on me while I was abroad. I need something to root me because... by myself I drift all too easily away from God. He's still on my mind, but not as powerfully. He becomes less a reason for my actions, and more just an abstract thing... why is it so easy? Cause I am weak. I am not strong. I am not a pillar. I am weak, but it's okay. I'd rather recognize that and find brothers and sisters than try to live alone anyways.
That being said, my small group leader is more or less how I would like to be at some point. Smart, astute memory. Well versed in the Bible and the world. He was quoting Shakespeare at me haha during a lunch conversation, and then I realized we even had the same views about the end haha. If worst comes to worst when we get old, we'll go to some hostile nation, carry Bibles and preach God's word till, well you know we get killed. Funny because our wave thoughts are similar in many ways, but I'm more emotional than him. He's got an interesting life story I feel like tho. One day, I'll uncover it and just spend times reflecting on it. Why? Cause there are things to learn from every persons life.
Haha. But speaking of my leader, he also had the same issue I had with the news. And he said he only reads local news because there he can make a difference. To be honest... I feel like there's something underlying that decision, which is incorrect. But who am I to call him out right?
Feeling helpless is not necessarily a bad thing. It forces you to turn to God. An argument could be made here about God just being convenient or not having a true faith or whatever, but I do believe it's true. We love feeling in control, and we'll do almost anything to preserve it.
Today I found a nice analogy to describe myself. I currently feel like a puppy haha. Why? Well... too bad don't feel like sharing. But I feel like a puppy.
Happy Monday!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Closure on Manila/Going Abroad
This post is to fulfill my promises of previous posts about a closing post. It's been two weeks now since I landed back in the USA, so I apologize for the delay, yet I doubt any of you really have been holding out haha. Yet I press onward... at least for myself.
Tokyo/Manila/Hong Kong was a taste of Asia, that I had never experienced. My first time going to Asia, and I was glad to go, and I only had to pay from Manila to Hong Kong ;)
But you know... it's not crazy different that the USA. People are people. I dunno, if you're expecting something profound like aliens or something you're out of luck. I use alien just cause we use that for foreigners in the USA... haha and it seems to emphasize differences to me. But there's lots of cultural differences and day to day things, that just astound me, fascinate me, and really bring out the desire to people watch in me.
Filipinos as a whole (watch me generalize) are a very nice and hospitable culture. Whereas some people are nice because they know they should be, there's a more genuine element in Filipino culture. There's a lot more I'd like to see in the Philippines. Some beaches, volcanoes, the ocean, I dunno... I can see myself going back there.
But I was reminded... that when people rip you off there, it's only like an extra couple bucks or so here. Bargaining is more fun than anything but when a taxi rips me off... I just sigh hand them money and say have a great day dude. In that phrase I try to capture the feeling, I know you just owned me cause I'm a foreigner, but I genuinely hope that this money helps you in some way.
The Philippines is a largely developing culture still. Trying to play catch-up after the effects of corruption set it back a couple decades in development. In fact, I got a small education on Filipino history, which I found to be quite fascinating. Other countries... just have so much many more interesting things to them than the USA. Our country the baby, yet trying to act like a boss, like we know best haha. Ya right.
The only really great thing about the USA is... our passports are the best thing ever. It's easy for us to visit other countries compared to other countries. They have to get visas ahead of time, pay fees, etc. First time I was genuinely glad to be American... (this may be quite jacked up to be honest, sign of taking things for granted, sigh... such a privileged loser I am).
So, I actually had a huge epic blog to write. Haha. I'm a changed man on a deeper level. I can say that with almost 100% certainty or maybe just parts of me have been more clearly brought forth in my mind/heart? People fascinate me. Other cultures fascinate me. If I could get paid just to study other cultures... I'd take it in a heart beat, so long as I can go experience it in some manner.
I was challenged by someone to talk to a stranger everyday. Haha. That's hard. I was proud of myself for striking up a conversation with my airplane mates, but that wasn't sufficient for this person... but then what qualifies as a conversation? Prob should have qualified that.
Regardless... my traveling bug has really blossomed into... a butterfly??? haha. I want to go back overseas no doubt. But I do appreciate C'ville/USA a little more. There's a lot to see here crajiii. Gotta hit up NY tho once an SK moves in. But maybe I should visit Chicago and Seattle since I have some desire to live there. Who knows, who knows. The future is so uncertain guys. All I know, is that it's time I move onto a new job cause this position is just going to keep me stagnating. But there's somethings to do here before I leave. I also still need to edit a bunch of pics... blimie. What is life. I'm trying to find things to do, but I do have a fair amount I should do already.
Notes on beer:
Filipino beers are not worth drinking... imho. I had a sick craft japanese beer tho when I was there by Doppo I think. Also Trader Joe's beers aren't that great I've decided. Although they do import some nice ones. Not that I drink a lot or anything. Maybe one a week? But I do enjoy trying new beers. Favorites as of now Brooklyner Weisse and Duck-Rabbit Milk stout. And the Hardywood Gingerbread stout (leggo Richmond!)
Sad sigh note...
News is making me slightly depressed lightly. I need to find a happy news site. And, I might also be becoming lactose. I can't tell tho because I keep on eating different foods and I can attribute my bowel issues to various things. Looks like I'll just keep at it and see what happens haha.
Tokyo/Manila/Hong Kong was a taste of Asia, that I had never experienced. My first time going to Asia, and I was glad to go, and I only had to pay from Manila to Hong Kong ;)
But you know... it's not crazy different that the USA. People are people. I dunno, if you're expecting something profound like aliens or something you're out of luck. I use alien just cause we use that for foreigners in the USA... haha and it seems to emphasize differences to me. But there's lots of cultural differences and day to day things, that just astound me, fascinate me, and really bring out the desire to people watch in me.
Filipinos as a whole (watch me generalize) are a very nice and hospitable culture. Whereas some people are nice because they know they should be, there's a more genuine element in Filipino culture. There's a lot more I'd like to see in the Philippines. Some beaches, volcanoes, the ocean, I dunno... I can see myself going back there.
But I was reminded... that when people rip you off there, it's only like an extra couple bucks or so here. Bargaining is more fun than anything but when a taxi rips me off... I just sigh hand them money and say have a great day dude. In that phrase I try to capture the feeling, I know you just owned me cause I'm a foreigner, but I genuinely hope that this money helps you in some way.
The Philippines is a largely developing culture still. Trying to play catch-up after the effects of corruption set it back a couple decades in development. In fact, I got a small education on Filipino history, which I found to be quite fascinating. Other countries... just have so much many more interesting things to them than the USA. Our country the baby, yet trying to act like a boss, like we know best haha. Ya right.
The only really great thing about the USA is... our passports are the best thing ever. It's easy for us to visit other countries compared to other countries. They have to get visas ahead of time, pay fees, etc. First time I was genuinely glad to be American... (this may be quite jacked up to be honest, sign of taking things for granted, sigh... such a privileged loser I am).
So, I actually had a huge epic blog to write. Haha. I'm a changed man on a deeper level. I can say that with almost 100% certainty or maybe just parts of me have been more clearly brought forth in my mind/heart? People fascinate me. Other cultures fascinate me. If I could get paid just to study other cultures... I'd take it in a heart beat, so long as I can go experience it in some manner.
I was challenged by someone to talk to a stranger everyday. Haha. That's hard. I was proud of myself for striking up a conversation with my airplane mates, but that wasn't sufficient for this person... but then what qualifies as a conversation? Prob should have qualified that.
Regardless... my traveling bug has really blossomed into... a butterfly??? haha. I want to go back overseas no doubt. But I do appreciate C'ville/USA a little more. There's a lot to see here crajiii. Gotta hit up NY tho once an SK moves in. But maybe I should visit Chicago and Seattle since I have some desire to live there. Who knows, who knows. The future is so uncertain guys. All I know, is that it's time I move onto a new job cause this position is just going to keep me stagnating. But there's somethings to do here before I leave. I also still need to edit a bunch of pics... blimie. What is life. I'm trying to find things to do, but I do have a fair amount I should do already.
Notes on beer:
Filipino beers are not worth drinking... imho. I had a sick craft japanese beer tho when I was there by Doppo I think. Also Trader Joe's beers aren't that great I've decided. Although they do import some nice ones. Not that I drink a lot or anything. Maybe one a week? But I do enjoy trying new beers. Favorites as of now Brooklyner Weisse and Duck-Rabbit Milk stout. And the Hardywood Gingerbread stout (leggo Richmond!)
Sad sigh note...
News is making me slightly depressed lightly. I need to find a happy news site. And, I might also be becoming lactose. I can't tell tho because I keep on eating different foods and I can attribute my bowel issues to various things. Looks like I'll just keep at it and see what happens haha.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Appointments
I have very few appts. Aka I hang out and see few people. Not a pity call, just a statement, although I would like that to change.
But because of this, it's all the more irritating when things overlap, I guess cause I'm not used to having to sacrifice options that I genuinely love.
The most recent one in my memory is going to the Philippines and missing graduation.
Now, it's missing a frisbee tournament with friends, for a wedding.
Both options worth the sacrifice? Definitely. Is there still a twinge of sadness... yes.
And yes I still will write a post about post Manila/traveling thoughts... in other words, a real blog post lol.
But because of this, it's all the more irritating when things overlap, I guess cause I'm not used to having to sacrifice options that I genuinely love.
The most recent one in my memory is going to the Philippines and missing graduation.
Now, it's missing a frisbee tournament with friends, for a wedding.
Both options worth the sacrifice? Definitely. Is there still a twinge of sadness... yes.
And yes I still will write a post about post Manila/traveling thoughts... in other words, a real blog post lol.
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